You are just now hearing that SYNC 3 is only in the Lariat trim? I have done a poor job with all the tech bulletins and "features by model" posts I have made. BTW, SYNC 3 started in 2016 (5 yrs ago) and gets perfected each year.
Why do you think you will not have hands-free on XL/XLT? Apple Carplay/Android Auto have been clearly advertised as being on ALL models. Both offer hands-free capability. Help me out here.